Its been an emotional couple of months for me both personal and professional.
Personally through mental stress and strain of a business, and added to that marriage and monetary issue’s, all compounding into one perfect storm for explosion.
Professionally I stepped down from my role as a head chef, being honest i wasnt ready, I thought I was, backed myself all the way with my ability to cook, I now know what I lack and need to work on. I fell into a kind of a sweeper chef, in Croì and as time went on, decisions needed to be made.
I needed to move away from a restaurant I helped build and take a position guaranteeing a wage to help my personal life, with more time for my neglected wife (Sorry Jen).
In short I am a Junior Sous in Manor West Hotel, I want to thank the crew there for the welcome I received about 2 weeks ago. Its a family there that i just clicked, a monstrous food output on a daily basis, roll up the sleeve, hot pans, fryers, grills and food away.
Many of the staff knew me personally from previous jobs. Others clicked with the Croì jacket, I wore on day 2/3, made no difference to me, I get to introduce new ideas to the kitchen to help it expand and help to raise the bar on a standard of food, some wild food, sone preservation, some vegatarian, all of which are met with nervous anticipation, or dismissal, a slight giggle, you know what, I dont mind its new Im expecting some resistance. New ideas, to a place thats used to a certain way, Im all for slotting in doing the job going home, thats ok but its not me, i have some freedom with specials so a little flair here to see where it goes.
Im proud of what Ive achieved, at the end of the day Im 30, married, opened 2 restaurants, and saw one not work, Ive made my mistakes, still have a few more to make. Just to learn from them now.
I feel like a failure, as I leave Croí and Grà behind me, I feel disheartened with the loss, but optimistic that I can learn more, to push my career further into the future.
As always @chefpaulc on all social media platforms